He leans against the bar,
shirt unbuttoned,
stomach ribbed, skin smooth –
b u l g i n g jeans.
Not my usual
attraction, but tonight
I need the action.
One more night in a twin with a magazine
and Vaseline more than I can bear.
I stop and cruise:
jeans snug around the upper thighs and crotch;
he’s older, been around –
it show’s in his eyes.
I stare a moment, nod. He smiles,
a corporate lawyer, he

owns a three story townhouse,
lives alone; Grandfather clock (five past midnight)
and a Chinese vase on an antique
oak table stand in the entry.
Rabbit fur couch. He sits beside me,
we stare a moment – kiss.
Legs electric, I feel weak, his hand
clasps my neck, pulls our mouths
tight, my fingers tremble,
slip from shoulder to chest,
stroke nipples.
I can’t open my eyes
as out lips part
he lowers my head into his lap –
legs firm and warm,
I feel drunk.

He leads me upstairs: queen-sized bed,
ceiling fan, lights dimmed he kisses
my neck, unbuttons my shirt,
it slides to the floor.
We embrace, his chest and back
warm and smooth, solid.
My hands slide, fingers wriggle
under his belt.
He grabs my arms:
"You have to change me."
"Change you into what?"

He pulls me down, pops
the button of his jeans and lies back.
I unzip his pants:
Diapers.
With Disney characters.
"Cute."
"Does it bother you?"
"It’s a first."
His dick sticks out,
Mickey points a baton.
I peel the tape and the scents of ammonia
and shit sting my eyes.
"Are you incontinent?"
"No."

There’s shit on his balls.
My stomach heaves. I roll off the bed.
His body makes my cock throb, my spine
tingles and needles prick my face.
"There’s a wash basin in the bathroom."
I slip out of my shoes, socks and drop my pants:
"Do you wear it to work too?"
"No."

In his bathroom I find Wet Wipes,
a blue bowl with soap, a washcloth
and a box of surgical gloves.
I put a glove on my cock, squeezing
into the middle finger.

He laughs.
I set the bowl beside
the bed, tug off his pants and socks
and suck his toes, his legs flex
each time he tenses blood rushes
to my head, glove wiggles
as the finger swells white.

"A little premature."
I giggle, climb on top of him, we kiss.
He wraps his legs around me
and squeezes. I reach down and jerk
him off.
Empty the glove.
I’m still erect as we kiss, skin slick.

There’s shit on my thighs.
The water’s cold.
Cleaned and dry, diaper disposed,
I curl against him, he wraps his arms around me.

I trace his veins with my finger.